Killer heels

Nov 24 2008 Jackie Violet

Killer heels

HAVE you noticed every other advert on TV is for 'younger looking skin because your worth it'.

Switching the box off in disgust I then pick up the glossy magazine for some light entertainment as the TV has failed me miserably, to discover that on every page is an anti-ageing cream for every type of skin for ages 30, 40, 50 and 60-plus.

Why can't they leave us alone to grow old gracefully!

I rather childishly get my daughters largest thickest black felt tip and draw a silly moustache over these glorious faces staring up at me making me feel like the ugly sisters mother. Feeling churlishly better, I carry on maiming these beauties with false spots, lashing of blemishes and colouring in the pearly white teeth with the thickest yellow felt tip I can find.

Satisfied, I delve further into the magazine but groan in dismay. For there, glaring out at me from the pages are the numerous adverts for 'well-being' clinics because deep down we all know that none of the so-called miracle creams actually work.

'You don't have to go under the knife' they cry at me, 'a few injections with Botox (as an example), and an instantly younger looking face. You can even go in your lunchtime!' What? I go out to lunch to eat and chat with friends not ply my face with who knows what for it to be dislodged, lop sided - but hey, twenty years younger.

So you can imagine my surprise when I discovered that some females, according to women motor insurance specialists Shielas' Wheels, have gone one step further than Botox for the face. They are having Botox injections to their feet! Why? I scream. Why have Botox in the feet? Feet do not become wrinkly do they'? When will this vanity stop?

Apparently Botox relaxes muscles in the body and causes temporary numbness which could be lethal whist driving.

The numbness - or dumbness - lasts up to 24 hours and Sheilas' Wheels is urging female drivers not to drive until the side effects have worn-off - so that they can 'feel' the pedals and be able to brake suddenly without discomfort or fear of damaging the affected area.

Nothing about the damaged car they have just careered into then?

Best stick to the new eight-inch killer heels adorning the shoe shops. Far more comfortable, everyone can admire them and a lot cheaper!