Voice of Reason: 25 March 2009

Mar 27 2009 by VoR

HOLY fixture chaos. A man should never be made to choose between his club and country.

Fair enough, you can choose between your club and the missus.

But it’s never going to be a contest there – and she knows that.

This weekend, however, the VoR will feel like a mother separated from her child.

As I enjoy the sights of Amsterdam while supporting Scotland, I should really be elsewhere.

Stranraer is calling, but those in power have forced foot soldiers like me into a corner.

Good job the Honest Men don’t need my support on Saturday to run up the cricket score at Stair Park.

A Dutch cafe with Sky Sports it is then.

SPEAKING of Amsterdam, the VoR is suited and booted to impress.

We’re talking sexy black kilt here, my friends.

I’ll be travelling with three fellow Honest Men, so the Second Division’s finest will be well represented.

Thanks to my good amigo Jack Blades at Slater’s for seeing me right on the kilt front.

Jack is quite the character and what he doesn’t know isn’t worth knowing.

There’s only one man I want feeling my inside leg – and Sir Jack is the guy.

ANYONE spot the trackside gym in operation during the Peterhead game?

A lovely touch, with our subspedalling like fury to keep themselves warm.

Bikes have been donated by theCitadel and the plan is to have David Gormley at top speed before he’s even on the park.

Lachlan Cameron is naturally our authority on all things fitness.

He revealed: “They use this technique to great effect in the NBA.”

Slam dunk da funk, my friends.

SO Killie chairman Michael Johnston fears they’ll go bust after relegation. Oh dear.

Never nice to see an ailing club struggle like a lifeless fish gasping for air.

But, if our county cousins do go down, I’ll be sure to send my condolences.

Well we always did say “There’s only one team in Ayrshire.”

IT’S all going down in betting corner right now.

Dougie Morton – we can see you sneaking out. The AUFC lottery marksman has now been cast adrift in our charity challenge.

He trails 24-19 and from here, there can be no recovery.

Leon Jackson told us there can be miracles, but as Mr Morton nowadmits: “My chances are slim.”

He’ll keep plugging on, though, and this week he goes for Russia 2, Azerbaijan 0.

I’m going for Holland 3, Scotland 0. I’d love to be proved wrong, but...