Voice of Reason: 10 December 2008

Dec 12 2008

COMMON sense? Sweet FA my friends.

If the pen pushers at Hampden actually had marbles, they’d have lost them long ago.

Send these characters into a 50 per cent Woolies sale – and they’d still manage to come out bankrupt.

Our beautiful game takes a fair bit of stick for shooting itself in the foot from time to time.

Players disgracing themselves in nightclubs. Fans getting carried away after one too many of the Newcastle Brown Ale.

But what hope have we got when those at the top of the tree are acting like escapees from an asylum?

Words, ladies and gentlemen, they fail the VoR. And silence is not a regular stop on my train track.

Whoever dreamt up this lunchtime lunacy on the Dundee housing scheme needs to take a long hard look in the mirror.

Nobody’s going to be there, nobody’s going to care, and it’s making a joke of our national game.

But oh yeah – it’s the ‘romance’ of the cup.

Well this is a marriage that’s quickly heading for divorce.

CHRISTMAS has been cancelled at Somerset Park.

Sad news fans, but the Lochee debacle has far reaching consequences.

Our squad were due to hit the town on Saturday night after dumping Alloa for their festive knees-up.

But now they have to be good little boys – cause we’re trooping to Dundee (ha ha yeah right) less than 48 hours later.

It’s disgusting on many levels and the VoR will not rest until answers are provided from the very top.

DARTS is the sexiest new sport in the world.

Don’t believe me? Check out Anastasia Dobromyslova – women’s champion and all round tungsten throwing babe.

She’s now mixing it with the men and making a rather good job of it as well.

But Ayrshire has its own female arrers star – Ayr’s own Kirstie Morton.

The Anchor Bar oche queen is stirring it up big time with the tons and even threw an 18 dart leg recently.

Dad Dougie, known to VoR readers as the man facing me in the betting challenge, is proud of his produce.

He admitted: “She’s a far better player than I ever was – but I taught her all I know.”

DOING anything this Sunday?

Why not get your backsides down to the AUFC club shop for their Christmas fayre.

Black and white santa hats, AUFC Christmas cards, bargain bucket goodies and past programmes will be on sale.

Typical fun of the fayre, black and white santa hats, shop discounts – and even mince pies.

See you there.

GOT any spare change this festive season?

Why not give it to Killie, who clearly can’t afford to turn on their undersoil heating.

And to my colleague at the Kilmarnock Standard who referred to them ‘slumming’ it at Somerset...

Don’t let the door of a fifth consecutive defeat smack your rear end on the way out, son.

AND to the tipping arena, where another week of nonsense went by with me advising Ayr to beat Lochee.

Well never again – we’ll be here until 2010 waiting for that one to be played.

I’ll stick with a game that actually has a chance of going ahead this week, but I’ll remain loyal to the on fire Honest Men.

We’ll sweep aside a poor Alloa bunch and I’m going for 3-0.

Mr Morton advises Hibs 3-1 Hamilton.