Ayrshire grandad to undergo sex change

Mar 10 2010 By Lisa Boyle

A GRANDAD will undergo major surgery this week to become a woman.

David Neil will finally become Diane in more than just name after the five hour operation. The 46-year-old Ayr dad-of three revealed the heartache and devastation the

dramatic decision has caused.

But she insists that there’s no going back after years of living a lie. And this story is far from unique in Ayrshire, where 20 men have had gender transition

treatment in the past five years.

As a youngster, troubled David always knew there was something different about him. Growing up in Coylton, David was always trying to prove himself as more of a boy.

He played rugby and football and was the first to sort out any of his 15 siblings’ battles in the village. By the time he was a teenager, David had gained a

reputation as a bit of a hard man.

When he was 15, he watched a programme about a man who believed he was trapped in the wrong body (gender dysphoria), and the penny dropped.

But David tried to dismiss it and went on to live a relatively normal life, marrying at the age of 21 and having three children. The landscape gardener spent years

 trying to forget about gender dysphoria.

Diane explained: “I used to wear a biker jacket and pretend I was some big macho rocker, but I was living a lie and rebelling against it.

“The older I got the worse the feeling got. Depression, anxiety and stress set in.

“The mental disorder it was getting me into was just horrendous. I ended up admitting I had to give in to this. I thought ‘if I don’t deal with this

it’s going to destroy me.’”

David confided in his wife, who was initially supportive. He attended counselling at a specialist clinic in Glasgow in 2005 and started hormone treatment in May 2006.

Diane said: “I think my wife wanted to keep it a secret, she wanted to keep the family unit together. But looking back, that probably couldn't have happened.”

In May last year, David decided to start living as Diane in the outside world. But it was a decision that rocked the family and Diane has since lost contact with many of them.

She continued: “It's breaking my heart. I was going to take my son out on Halloween and I've got his Christmas presents in the wardrobe.

“I ended up in the Ailsa Hospital for three weeks over this. I'm totally, utterly heartbroken. “I have one or two friends who have been very supportive

but most of them have gradually drifted away.

“My sisters and brothers have mostly been the same. Only four of my siblings and my mum speak to me.”

But Diane has been surprised by the reaction she’s had from people on the street.

She added: “I've been back to Coylton. I felt that people would have painted a picture of me as a big guy wearing a miniskirt and fish net stockings with hair spurting

out here, there and everywhere. Outside have been lovely.”

And Diane says she has no regrets about becoming a woman.

She explained: “Part of being big, tough David gave me the strength to be Diane in later life. “When I get dressed in the morning and I look in the in the mirror I

absolutely love who is looking back.

“That's the first time I've felt like that in my whole life.

“I'm not doing anyone any harm. I'm only trying to be happy in my own skin. I am a good parent to my children. I absolutely adore them.”

As well as trying to come to terms with the issues in her life, Diane has been preparing for the climax of her gender transition. She will undergo a five hour operation

today (Thursday) to reconstruct her male genitals to female.

Afterwards, Diane will spend eight days in a Brighton hospital and a year recovering.

She said: “There can be major complications and I’m scared. This is when I have needed my family the most.

“Hopefully after the gender reassignment surgery, my life will be a bit more settled and a lot calmer.

“I hope the future holds happiness for me. I'm only trying to make peace in my life. “I want to get back in touch with my children and for my brothers and sisters to

see common sense and realise I'm not doing anyone any harm.

“After this operation, my journey has ended. I've arrived and the rest of my life begins.”

For help and support on this issue, please visit http://www.mind.org.uk/help/diagnoses_and_conditions/gender_dysphoria

or visit http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/gender-dysphoria/Pages/Introduction.aspx